Turning 40 – How I really feel about milestone birthdays.

This week I’m turning 40. Even writing that now it feels wrong. How is it possible that the 80’s were 40 years ago? Walkmans and leg warmers and Kylie, of course.

Rewind 40 years before I was born and the world was in the midst of World War Two. Crazy to think that the expanse of time between 1942 and 1982 is the same as that between ’82 and now.

Time is a curious thing.

In fact, it was all passing at a seemingly reasonable pace until I hit my mid 20’s, with summers feeling like they stretched forever and weekends being plentiful and free.

And then someone, somewhere pressed the fast forward button. Not like today when you’re forwarding through Youtube, but on those glorious, clunky 80’s video players, where the button got stuck if it was old or a bit dusty or if you pressed it at slightly the wrong angle.

And I’ve been trying to unwedge it, with no luck, ever since.

I remember my older brother being so depressed at turning 20, he refused to get out of bed, lamenting “I’m two decades old” as I sat by his side with a cup of tea and told him that it would be ok. That he would only turn 20 once and needed to get up and make the most of his day.

And so he did.

I belittled my brother for this at the time and for many years after, but I didn’t really understand what was going through his mind or how he felt.

Age is a curious thing.

Ten years ago, on my 30th birthday, I turned up to work absolutely in shock, aghast at the fact that life was flying by way too quickly. That it was slipping through my fingers and beyond my control.

How had I suddenly hit that milestone? And what had I done with all those years?!

There were plenty of ups and downs in my 20’s. In fact, it can only be described as a rollercoaster ride between heaven and hell. But whilst the days were often long, the years cumulatively flew by.

Once the big day of turning 30 had passed, and the world hadn’t ended, it seemed like less of a big deal. I felt foolish to have been so worried about nothing, and I carried on with all the daily stuff, always looking forward to the next exciting thing in the calendar. And unbeknown to me on my 30th birthday, it turned out there were to be plenty.

Hindsight is such a wonderful thing.

Looking back now, I realise that my 30’s has been the very best decade so far. And I certainly did not see that coming on my 30th birthday.

It was the decade where I had my second baby, squeezed in a few exciting opportunities at work, flew Business Class for the first (and hopefully not the last) time, travelled to some of the most incredible places and experienced things I never imagined, opening my eyes wider with each one, and made some new special friends who are now in my closest circle of trust.

One of those friends has become such a rock, a soulmate even, that I’m not quite sure how I made it through the first 32 years without her.

And of course, I started this blog, inspired by our Family Rhino Travels. Discovering for the first time, at almost 40, a new passion for writing. Stories, journalling, blogs….learning from each one and getting to experience that satisfaction of believing in yourself enough to build something from scratch. I definitely did not see that coming when I turned 30!

Time is a curious thing indeed.

So I sit here, writing this and looking back on 40 years and actually, for once, trying not to look ahead to the next 40, but trying to enjoy the moment.

As the sad and untimely passing of a beautiful young soul recently reminded me, I have no idea how far along I am in this journey through life. But I do know that I’ll only do it once and I need to enjoy the ride.

So, how do I really feel about turning 40?

I feel lucky.

And grateful.

Happy to be here surrounded by lovely people and excited about whatever the next chapter will bring.

Thanks for coming along for the ride.

Sophie.